Bachelor soulmate on a different dating site 2

“…humans are scouring the globe for someone with whom a relationship will require absolutely no work or compromise…Many adult humans who have long ago dismissed Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as myths somehow persist in believing this person to exist.” –Eric Metaxas

Perspective has the ability to change everything.  Two ways exist to see potential marriage relationships: romantic destiny or romantic growth.  Romantic destiny says there is one person I’m designed to be with and it will be seamless, effortless, and unmistakably true.  I’ll know it when I meet them.  I just have to find them. The Romantic Growth model says any relationship worth having will require sacrifice, hard work, and love.  But it will be worth it.  Romantic growth holds to the belief that we can do things to make our relationship better.  There is not that one person out there because love is a choice, not without feelings but bigger than any feeling.

I don’t think we have that one person.  But I think the person that we choose can become our soulmate if we both work towards it.  It is not about romantic destiny but about romantic growth.


  1. Love Jesus first. HE is meant to complete us.  If we put Him first and our spouse second, we can grow into their soulmate.  We must be secure in our own individual self-worth and satisfied with our single journey before we join someone else.  As our Creator develops us and makes us more caring, responsive, sacrificial, and secure, we can love our spouse better and better.
  2. Listen.  Be quick to listen and slow to speak.  Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
  3. Learn.  Be interested in them.  Find out what they like and don’t like.  Anticipate their needs.  Get to know them deeply.  We can never reach the bottom of who another person is.
  4. Love unconditionally. No strings attached.  We change to the degree that we know we are loved.
  5. Let it go. (just like Anna and Elsa) Forgive and ask forgiveness.  Keep short accounts.  Don’t go to bed angry. Choose to assume the best and give the benefit of the doubt.

I’ve never been married so what do I know?  Most of these are much easier said than done.  What do the married peeps have to say?

Next week numbers 6-10.  (5 more ways we can become someone’s soulmate.)